I Failed at Every Job: “At work, I would not take responsibility for my actions—everything was someone else’s fault. Drinking was also a problem. Sooner or later, I would quit the job and move on, hoping that a fresh start would make a difference. We moved so often that my wife finally got to where she would not even unpack the boxes.
“I even thought I could be a pastor. I hoped that going into the ministry would help me mature and that more responsibility would help me settle down and be a good family man, but it had just the opposite effect. I was more abusive than ever, and what was worse, my congregation knew it.”
Escaping Into More Violence
“I was disgusted with myself, but I blamed my wife, Judy. I decided to leave her and divorced her without her knowledge. I was looking for something else with someone else.
“I had a series of failed relationships. However, I eventually found a woman who would put up with me and we moved in together.
“This was a big mistake. I wound up beating her so severely that she nearly died. As a result, I was facing 15–22 years in prison on charges of attempted murder. At the time, I was living in Minnesota, a state that was particularly tough on abusers.
“I still remember my lawyer saying to me, ‘Man, you are the stupidest criminal I have ever represented. You have beaten up a woman in the state that has arguably the stiffest possible penalties for domestic violence.'”
A Cry for Mercy
“Late on a February night in the early 1980s, I threw myself completely on His mercy.
I said, ‘God, if you can do something with me, I’m yours. I give you my finances, my sexuality, and everything I am.’
“There is more to the story, but I was saved from prison. It had to have been a supernatural deliverance, because I was set to go down for what I had done. I was offered a deal that allowed me to avoid prison in agreement for entering a treatment program. I tried that program for a year and spent almost $20,000 on counseling. I got medication and some skills for managing my emotions. I did not get the help I needed, but I did finally take responsibility for my actions. The problem was mine and mine alone.
“I had been blaming others and rationalizing my own reactions. I had not learned the crucial principle: You are not responsible for your wounds, but you are responsible for your behavior. I have now learned that there will be no change without first accepting responsibility.”
God Gave Me a Teachable Spirit
“I continued to pray—to argue with God really—wanting to be bailed out without really changing. Eventually my will broke, and I received a message from the Holy Spirit. He said, ‘You are not teachable. You are in rebellion, but if you will become teachable, the Father will give you a program that will restore your family, and you can take it to the world.’
“I surrendered completely to Jesus and to the way He wanted me to live my life. I began to diligently study the Bible. I responded to the simplicity of the Living Bible, and God drew me deeper into His Word and His promises, and my life irrevocably changed. By studying the Scriptures and applying them to my life, I found healing and a new way of life.
“After seven years of separation and divorce, Judy and I began to rebuild our relationship. We developed a friendship first, and gradually Judy came to trust me again. With time and patience, God gave us a new love for each other and we remarried. We have now been remarried for 18 years.
“I have rebuilt relationships with my children. Our family is restored, and there is no abuse. It is completely gone. So much so, that when I tried to reenact some abusive scenes for the movie Unforgivable, I was unable to even pretend to be an abuser!”
Philippians 2:14
For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.
Miraculous Monday: 4th December 2023
Miraculous Monday 067
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