TUNES OF TORMENT (PART 1)

I believe it began sometime in January when I would hear random worldly music playing in my head. At first, it was easy to wave aside, but soon it got harder. The songs that were constantly playing were songs I used to listen to and sing before I got born again. They were like a playlist in my head; once a song ended, another began. I realised that during this period, I was vulnerable to worldly music in the sense that just hearing it while passing on the road would make it stick in my head, and it wouldn’t stop playing. 

At first, I tried fighting it by singing aloud any gospel song that came to mind, but this didn’t work because soon enough, I would unconsciously switch back to worldly music.

I found it very easy to stop singing godly songs. I equally tried rebuking the songs when they came to mind, thinking it was a spirit, but many times it wouldn’t stop. So at some point, I gave up rebuking and concluded it was just my flesh at work, or it was a bad habit. 

During this period, I was constantly on YouTube doing one thing or the other, then drifting away from what I was doing to watching YouTube Shorts. This exposed me to these songs even more, including trending songs. Most times, I was tempted to watch the music videos, which I fell into sometimes. I equally found myself unconsciously dancing to the songs I shouldn’t dance to. This affected me a lot spiritually.

There were times I felt frustrated from the numerous songs playing in my head, and I would scream out, holding my head in frustration, telling God to make it stop. 

Other times, I was tired of fighting it, so I would just let them play, knowing that soon, when I didn’t expect or know, it would stop. I realised it was a bigger issue for me when I began hearing worldly music playing in my head when I wanted to sleep, and the first thing when I woke up in the morning. This affected what I saw in my dream, too. There is this thing we do in the hostel during devotion, where we ask if anyone woke up with a song. It dawned on me that it had been a while since I woke up hearing any godly music.

I became alarmed at this point because waking up to hearing worldly music used to be my story when I wasn’t born again, and I definitely didn’t want it to return. However, probably because of what was happening to me at the time, I gave up on fighting thoroughly. 

To be continued…

Miraculous Monday: 6th October 2025

Miraculous Monday 163

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