SUBMISSION IN MARRIAGE (PART 5)

Look to Abraham and Sarah… 

“Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness, you who seek the Lord: look to the rock from which you were cut and to the quarry from which you were hewn; look to Abraham, your father, and to Sarah, who gave you birth…” (Isaiah 51:1–2)

“For this is how the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” (1 Peter 3:5–6)

God Is Just—Not a God of the Husband Alone

One thing that must never be forgotten is this: God is just. He is not the God of the husband alone. He is the God of the husband and the wife. He doesn’t support a man just because he’s a man or because he is the head. God supports righteousness and obedience, and He defends the one who is aligned with His will.

There are times when the wife may make a demand or speak up, and God will side with her because she is right.

Take Sarah and Abraham, for example. Sarah told Abraham, “Send away this slave woman from my house.” Abraham didn’t want to. But God later spoke to him and said, “Listen to Sarah.” (Genesis 21:12)

The point is this: if you, as the wife, are in God’s will, if you are walking in obedience, submission, and focus on God, you don’t need to manipulate or fight. There are moments when you can make a request, and God will back you up. He will speak to your husband or move him to act.

That’s why it is so important that your heart is aligned with the Lord—because God is not unjust. He will not ignore your voice if you are doing right. Fear is the opposite of faith. When people give way to fear, it causes them to disobey what God has said.

It’s fear that makes the average woman hesitate to obey her husband, whether he is being sensible or not so sensible. If she wasn’t afraid that her compliance would bring disaster to her or her family, she would submit.

READ FROM THE TOP: SUBMISSION IN MARRIAGE (PART 1)

Sarah’s Example of Faith

Two instances we see where Sarah obeyed Abraham in the scriptures are Genesis 12:10–20 (in Egypt) and Genesis 20:1–18 (in Gerar, before Abimelek).

• In the first case, Abram had gone down to Egypt because of famine. He told Sarai (later Sarah): “Say you are my sister, so that it may go well with me because of you, and that my life may be spared on your account.” (Genesis 12:13). Sarai obeyed and Pharaoh’s officials took her into Pharaoh’s house, and Pharaoh treated Abram well for her sake, until God struck Pharaoh’s household with plagues, and Pharaoh discovered the truth.
  
• The second case is similar. In Gerar, Abraham again said of Sarah his wife: “She is my sister,” and Abimelek, king of Gerar, took Sarah. But God appeared to Abimelek in a dream and warned him, so he did not touch her.
  

We see in both Egypt and Gerar that Abraham instructed Sarah to say she was his sister. This was not entirely untrue, since she was indeed the daughter of his father, though not of his mother (Genesis 20:12). However, Abraham’s motive was fear. He was afraid that if people discovered Sarah was his wife, they would kill him and take her.

In both cases, Sarah was taken into the households of these kings. Yet, she did not resist Abraham or challenge his decision. She submitted to him, even though it appeared to put her at great personal risk.

Most women would naturally be alarmed at such a situation: being taken into Pharaoh’s palace or Abimelek’s house.

But Sarah’s attitude revealed her trust in both her husband and, more importantly, in God.

And we see God Himself intervened to protect her. Neither Pharaoh nor Abimelek was permitted to touch her. Instead, the very situations that seemed dangerous became channels of deliverance and even blessing for Abraham.

Faith Expressed Through Obedience

These are examples of how faith in God, expressed through obedience, works. Sarah’s submission was a posture of faith. She trusted that God was able to preserve her as she honored her husband. And indeed, God acted on her behalf, shielding her, preserving her marriage, and turning the outcome to her husband’s advantage.

You must remember, wives, that when you trust God fully and obey His orders, even when it feels risky, He is able to fight for you, protect you, and bring blessings out of what could have been harmful.

Submission is Training in Righteousness

Submission is part of your mission. Of course, this does not mean that you commit sin if your husband tells you to do evil. Do not do evil and do not let fear control you. Only in this way can you be like Sarah.

1 Peter 3:6 …just as Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him lord. And you are her children if you do what is right and refuse to give way to fear. (BSB)

…Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do. (NLT) 

The way to learn submission is to practice it way before you marry. As a young girl, you should be practicing submission with your parents — father, mother, or whoever your guardian is; your boss and others who are older than you. Learn to obey. If your father says, “I don’t like this food,” don’t keep making it. If he says, “Don’t keep this thing here,” then don’t keep doing it. A lack of submission exposes you to more spiritual attacks (1 Cor 11:10).

The Marriage Guide

You can get more on submission in The Marriage Guide series. This series addresses marriage matters as a 365-Day Devotional.

In that series, I explained Marriage as a Mission Field. Most people can understand if God says, “Go to Cambodia as a missionary.” They’ll agree: “Yes, Lord, I’ll go, even if it’s hard.” But they must realize that marriage is the same. If God sends you into marriage, then that’s one of your mission fields. Many daughters of Zion don’t understand that just as God can send someone into risky missionary work, He can also send someone into a marriage that carries risk.

If God says, “Have children while continuing in faith, love, and self-control,” why should you struggle to understand? When He says, “Submit to your husband,” (Eph 5:23) that is the mission He gave you. It’s no less a calling than missions in another land.

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