What Practical Submission Looks Like
So…God wants wives to submit to their own husbands. Okay.
But let’s get real for a moment.
What does submission look like when money’s scarce, tempers rise, or opinions clash in a family? What happens when the husband seems to be CLEARLY making a mistake, and the wife CAN see it?
Is submission silence? Is it blind surrender? Or is it something else?
In this article, let’s move beyond the theory. Let’s step into the real world of practical submission.
Think with me…
READ ALSO: A CHANGING GOD?
The Man’s Role: To Be The Head
This is the role of a man: to be the head of the woman. The Bible says: “For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church (Eph. 5:23).
It is straightforward. That’s why your name changes to his name. His name did not change to your name. There’s an equality in the minds of many women today that is totally ungodly and unscriptural. And I truly believe that on the day of judgment, this is something that will cause great sorrow and pain to many women.
Marriage as Ministry for Women
As a woman, you must understand that, a lot of the time, your marriage is your ministry. The same way a man can be sent off somewhere to go and preach the gospel, risking danger, pain, and hardship, for many women, marriage is that equivalent. If the man was a missionary, he would have passed through the jungle to get to his mission field.
He faced many risks, including death. That was his battlefield. It was a risk he had to take. For the wife, submission in marriage is that risk. That terrible fear you feel, of what may happen to you, of your dreams dying if you submit your will to your husband, is your own battlefield.
READ ALSO: WOMEN IN MINISTRY
The Submissive Woman Usually Wins
Now, the reality is that many men are not even trying to act like they are the head, to be honest. Many times, when women allow their men to lead and be in charge, those same men later allow the women to handle most of the affairs. But when a woman tries to grasp control, the man may resist, and then people will say he’s being controlling. This back-and-forth creates tension in the home.
I know good men, good husbands, faithful husbands, and they are not so focused on controlling the home and running the affairs of the house as the head.
Some will say, “My wife could manage 90-something percent of things in the home, and I’d let her…” So, they are actually willing to hand over what the woman is struggling to obtain.
READ ALSO: TRUSTING GOD: THE FOOD & CLOTHING PRINCIPLE (PART 1)
How Men Spell Love
Men do not respond well to being ordered around. For men, love is spelled: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. That’s what they hear when you submit.
When the woman submits, the man feels respected, and in most cases, he responds with love and provision. Trying to boss a man into submission won’t work. Many men changed not because their wives beat them into it but because she submitted, and they felt respected and started making changes.
This is a worldwide phenomenon.
Why Wives Resist in Marriage
A major reason why wives resist submission, apart from the plain, inbuilt human rebellious nature, is that they are afraid. This fear is born out of a lack of trust in God. They are often afraid that their husbands will take advantage of them, afraid that he will not handle things properly, and afraid that things will not go the way they expect.
But the Scriptures directly address this fear. 1 Peter 3:5–6 says: “For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him lord. And you are her daughters if you do good and do not give way to fear.”
So the issue is not whether fear is real. It is real. But the Word of God says: Do not give in to the fear. Put your hope in God (not in your husband), and obey Him by submitting to your husband. When you obey God and submit, you show that you trust Him to intervene if things go wrong.
But what do you do, wife, when things go wrong?
Let us consider that next week!
READ NEXT: SUBMISSION IN MARRIAGE (PART 4)
