Honour is Obedience that Matures Into Responsibility
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “honour your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Ephesians 6:1-3 NIV
Obedience is part of honouring your parents, but when you grow up, your role then includes caring for and supporting them. Proverbs 32:22 says, “Do not despise your mother when she is old.”
You must respect them, pay attention to them, and provide for them. Don’t abandon them.
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Honour Includes Speaking to Them With Respect
The Bible says: “Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father” (1 Timothy 5:1, NIV).
· “Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death” (Exodus 21:17, NIV).
· “Each of you must respect your mother and father” (Leviticus 19:3, NIV).
God does not expect us to speak rudely or disrespectfully to our parents, no matter how old we think we have become, and no matter how “big” we believe we are. The commandment does not expire with age. “honour your father and your mother” is not seasonal; it is lifelong.
You see, this is one of the major differences between generations today. There is a generation that thinks that once they reach a certain age, they have the liberty to talk to their parents as they like.
But the scriptures do not support this. The Bible says,
“Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old” (Proverbs 23:22, NIV).
There was once a time in my 40s, when I had a slight argument with my father and it became heated. His tone became firm, and when I noticed, I immediately toned down, kept quiet, and just paid attention, even though I still believed I was more accurate on the matter. And this is not unique to me; many people raised with honour understand this instinctively.
Age does not diminish honour; nor does success, nor independence. They still remain your parents, and God still holds us to His standard. Even if your parents have weaknesses, God never permits dishonouring tones, insults, or contempt.
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Honour Includes Protecting Their Dignity
Noah’s story shows this principle clearly. After the flood, Noah planted a vineyard and became drunk. In that vulnerable moment, Ham saw his father’s nakedness and exposed it rather than covering him. Instead of honour, he responded with disrespect.
Genesis 9:22 (NIV) Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father naked and told his two brothers outside.
Ham did not try to preserve his father’s dignity. He broadcasted Noah’s shame, drawing attention to it. In Scripture, this is what dishonour looks like: exposing weakness, publicizing faults, and responding with mockery instead of mercy.
Shem and Japheth acted differently. They chose the path of honour.
Genesis 9:23 (NIV) But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it across their shoulders; then they walked in backward and covered their father’s naked body. Their faces were turned the other way so that they would not see their father naked.
They refused to even look at their father’s shame. They protected him, preserved his dignity, and restored honour where dishonour had occurred. This is a picture of biblical honour. It covers, protects, and shows restraint. The consequences of both actions were profound. Dishonour brought a curse; honour brought blessings.
Genesis 9:24–27 (NIV) When Noah awoke from his wine and found out what his youngest son had done to him, he said, “Cursed be Canaan! The lowest of slaves will be to his brothers.”
He also said, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Shem! May Canaan be the slave of Shem. May God extend Japheth’s territory; may Japheth live in the tents of Shem, and may Canaan be the slave of Japheth.”
In God’s eyes, honouring your parents is not about pretending that they are perfect. It is about treating them with dignity, restraint, and respect, even when they are vulnerable or imperfect.
Why Honouring Your Parents Matters
Ephesians 6:1-3 NIV Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “honour your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
The Bible calls it the first commandment with a promise. The blessings are:
· Well being and prosperity
· Long life
Have you thought about the fact that some people die young because they didn’t honour their parents? Others struggle in life; things are just not going well. And some have children that behave wickedly or heartlessly – exhibiting the fruit of a pattern that started generations before.
It is like planting seeds. You don’t just plant one seed and get one fruit. One seed grows into a plant that bears many fruits. If you honour your parents, you set up blessings that flow not only to you, but also to your children. It applies negatively too.
Honour is practical. It reflects a heart of gratitude, humility, responsibility, and love. And here’s the thing; when you honour your parents, God is pleased, your life prospers, and your children learn the same pattern. That’s how the cycle of blessing works.
One Last Question…
Now that we’ve walked through scriptures, seen what Jesus taught, and looked at examples from the Bible, ask yourself: Am I honoring my parents the way God has instructed?Now that we’ve walked through scriptures, seen what Jesus taught, and looked at examples from the Bible, ask yourself: Am I honoring my parents the way God has instructed?
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