Living with the Secret Struggle
Whenever I had an episode, I would just clean up and keep to myself. I didn’t use to talk to anyone about it, including my parents, and just a few people around me would notice it. It was one of my secrets that I didn’t wish to expose. It made me cry and think about how miserable my life was, and indeed it humbled me and kept my pride in check. One time it happened, after crying and everything, I told God that it’s the two of us that will experience this shame together, since He didn’t want to take it away. I added that people knew me as His child, and if He was fine with the shame it brought to Him, then there was no problem. I had even told Him at another time that I don’t have shame anymore, as my shame had finished because I didn’t know what else I could face again that was more humiliating than this.
My Deliverance Journey Begins
When I came to God’s Lighthouse, I started learning how not to keep secrets and how to confess things to my shepherd (the leader assigned to care for me). At first, I just talked to my friend about it and we prayed together, and when I went home, I told my mum about it too. This was when I realised that I had inherited it, as my mum shared a similar experience with me from when she was younger. I also remembered a dream I had when I was a teenager or so, where I was in a room that seemed like a prison with high brick walls and a tiny window high up the wall. It seemed like my mum had been there, and now it was my turn to be in that prison. This was when I realised that some of the things I faced were afflictions from my mum’s lineage.
Understanding Generational Patterns
It seemed like my sister inherited my dad’s lineage issues while I inherited my mum’s own—and this is the same way we took after our parents in physical appearance. When I told my sub-shepherd about it, I believe she prayed for me. I started experiencing victory as I obeyed the instructions she gave me. She told me to stop taking carbonated drinks, although I didn’t see how this contributed to the issue, since out of the hundreds of days in a year that I likely took them, this issue occurred about 2–4 times randomly and even on the days I didn’t take any.
To Be Continued…
Miraculous Monday: 9th February 2026
Miraculous Monday 180
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