Permission from Rome
Finally, on August 8, 1948, Mother Teresa received news from Rome: Pope Pius XII had granted her permission to leave Loreto and begin her mission to serve the poorest of the poor.
Nine days later, she walked out of the convent toward the Calcutta slums, wearing a simple white sari and carrying five rupees in her pocket.
“I Have Come to Love the Darkness”
One might assume that serving the slum’s poorest would be the hardest work of her life. Yet, according to her letters, Mother Teresa faced a far graver struggle: a battle with doubt and an estrangement from God. She described this turmoil as a “terrible darkness,” a “terrible emptiness,” and a feeling of God’s absence.
Letters to Jesus and Mentors
Mother Teresa often wrote to her archbishop and spiritual mentors, seeking guidance and prayers. At one point, she wrote directly to Jesus:
“In my soul, I feel just that terrible pain of loss – of God not wanting me – of God not being God – of God not really existing… In my heart this is not faith – not light – not trust – there is so much pain – the pain of longing, the pain of not being wanted… I want God with all the powers of my soul – and yet there between us – there is a terrible separation.” Even amidst this darkness, she gave herself fully to God. In the same letter, she pleaded:
“Don’t mind my feelings – Don’t mind even my pain. If my separation from You brings others to You, and in their love and company You find joy and pleasure – why Jesus, I am willing with all my heart to suffer all that I suffer – not only now – but for all eternity.”
Faith in Action
These letters reveal her extraordinary faith. Those who met her noticed her persistent joy, gentle demeanor, and beaming smile, even while enduring intense personal struggle. The irony is that her joy was genuine, fueled by her connection with the most destitute of India.
To be continued…
Tale Tuesday 135
Date: 24th June, 2025
Title: : MOTHER TERESA (The Pencil in God’s Hand) (Part 3)
Source: 50 Women Every Christian Should Know – Learning from Heroines of the Faith
Author: Michelle Derusha
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