Honouring Father and Mother (Part 2)
You’ve had a whole week to think about this; what have you come up with?
What have you personally come to believe about honouring your parents?
Romans 13:7 tells us to give honour to whom honour is due. This means give honour to those who deserve it. So, if honour is something that is due your parents, what do they actually “deserve” from you?
Take a walk through the Scriptures, thought by thought, and let God Himself answer.
Let’s Start With a Verse Commonly Misapplied…
1 Timothy 5:8 is a verse often misapplied; christians almost always apply it to parents.
It says, “But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.” (NLT)
Most Christians think Paul is talking about fathers or parents who don’t provide for their children. But if you go back and read the verses right before it, you will see that that is not the case. He was addressing the opposite situation.
To understand verse 8, you have to start from the beginning of the discussion in 1 Timothy 5.
Paul was giving Timothy instructions on how the church should care for widows.
He begins: “Take care of any widow who has no one else to care for her.” (1 Timothy 5:3, NLT)
Then he immediately adds: “But if she has children or grandchildren, their first responsibility is to show godliness at home and repay their parents by taking care of them. This is something that pleases God.” (1 Timothy 5:4, NLT)
1 Timothy 5:4 (NIV) – “But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.”
Paul was giving instructions to Timothy on how the church should care for widows. But he made it clear that the first responsibility is always on the children and grandchildren, not the church. He said that caring for parents is “putting religion into practice”, meaning that it is one of the clearest proofs of genuine godliness. He also said that children should repay their parents who invested years of sacrifice in caring for the children and that it pleases God. Honour is giving back to your parents when you become capable to do so.
So, the context of verse 8 is that if a child refuses to care for their aging parents, they are acting worse than unbelievers.
Paul was addressing Christians who were abandoning their elderly parents (especially widowed mothers) and shifting the responsibility to the church. He was saying, “No, take care of your parents. This is your spiritual duty.”
He adds in verse 16: “If a woman who is a believer has relatives who are widows, she must take care of them and not put the responsibility on the church.” (1 Timothy 5:16, NLT)
So the popular interpretation that “parents must provide for their children”, is not wrong in principle, but it is not what this passage is talking about at all.
This is what Paul calls “good,” “acceptable to God,” and an expression of true faith.
PREVIOUS EPISODE: HONOURING PARENTS
Let’s Hear it in the Lord Jesus’ Voice…
In Matthew 15:3–6 the Lord Jesus defined honouring parents, and He did not talk about greeting, kneeling down, or good behavior. Those are important, but He spoke about material support.
Matthew 15:3-6 NIV – Jesus replied, “And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is ‘devoted to God,’ they are not to ‘honor their father or mother’ with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition.
Jesus rebuked the Pharisees because people were bypassing their parents and directing their money and resources toward the temple instead.
From that passage, the Lord meant that: if your parents needed support and you gave that support to the church instead, you have not honoured your parents.
Let that sink in.
Aren’t we repeating the same error today? Many Christians today are doing exactly what Jesus condemned.
Money that should relieve your parents goes to “prophetic seeds,” to “sow upward,” “tap into grace,” or “monthly sacrifices.”
Meanwhile the parents may have no pension, no stable or consistent income. They depend on “God will provide,” while you are the one God intended to provide for them.
Proverbs 22:16 warns plainly, “Whoever gives gifts to the rich will only come to poverty.” Do you believe this? Have you ever considered that many issues in your life, why it is not well with you, is because you are giving wrongly?
Yet, many believers keep sowing into wealthier church organizations while neglecting the father and mother who gave them life.
READ ALSO: CHANGING GOD?
Have the Right Priorities
Christians who think that giving heavily in church excuses their neglecting family duties are in error. Scripture strongly warns against this.
You cannot use “church work” as an excuse to abandon home responsibilities. Even in His moment of greatest suffering, the Lord Jesus made provisions for His mother.
John 19:26–27 (NIV) “When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, ‘Woman, here is your son,’ and to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.”
If anyone ever had a “justifiable excuse” to ignore family duties, it was the Savior on the cross, yet He did not. He honoured His mother till the end. This is God’s standard.
Scripture encourages generosity, especially toward those who have invested the most in your life. Proverbs 3:27 (NIV) says, “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.”
Your parents, who poured years of labour, care, finances, and sacrifice into raising you, are among those “to whom good is due”. It is unrighteous to not care for them. Part of honour is sharing your blessings with your parents, not as charity, but as your godly responsibility and out of gratitude.
Hold these thoughts. We will continue to build on them next week.
READ NEXT: HONOUR (PART 10)
Honouring Father and Mother (Part 2)
You’ve had a whole week to think about this; what have you come up with?
What have you personally come to believe about honouring your parents?
Romans 13:7 tells us to give honour to whom honour is due. This means give honour to those who deserve it. So, if honour is something that is due your parents, what do they actually “deserve” from you?
Take a walk through the Scriptures, thought by thought, and let God Himself answer.
Let’s Start With a Verse Commonly Misapplied…
1 Timothy 5:8 is a verse often misapplied; christians almost always apply it to parents.
It says, “But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.” (NLT)
Most Christians think Paul is talking about fathers or parents who don’t provide for their children. But if you go back and read the verses right before it, you will see that that is not the case. He was addressing the opposite situation.
To understand verse 8, you have to start from the beginning of the discussion in 1 Timothy 5.
Paul was giving Timothy instructions on how the church should care for widows.
He begins: “Take care of any widow who has no one else to care for her.” (1 Timothy 5:3, NLT)
Then he immediately adds: “But if she has children or grandchildren, their first responsibility is to show godliness at home and repay their parents by taking care of them. This is something that pleases God.” (1 Timothy 5:4, NLT)
1 Timothy 5:4 (NIV) – “But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.”
Paul was giving instructions to Timothy on how the church should care for widows. But he made it clear that the first responsibility is always on the children and grandchildren, not the church. He said that caring for parents is “putting religion into practice”, meaning that it is one of the clearest proofs of genuine godliness. He also said that children should repay their parents who invested years of sacrifice in caring for the children and that it pleases God. Honour is giving back to your parents when you become capable to do so.
So, the context of verse 8 is that if a child refuses to care for their aging parents, they are acting worse than unbelievers.
Paul was addressing Christians who were abandoning their elderly parents (especially widowed mothers) and shifting the responsibility to the church. He was saying, “No, take care of your parents. This is your spiritual duty.”
He adds in verse 16: “If a woman who is a believer has relatives who are widows, she must take care of them and not put the responsibility on the church.” (1 Timothy 5:16, NLT)
So the popular interpretation that “parents must provide for their children”, is not wrong in principle, but it is not what this passage is talking about at all.
This is what Paul calls “good,” “acceptable to God,” and an expression of true faith.
Let’s Hear it in the Lord Jesus’ Voice…
In Matthew 15:3–6 the Lord Jesus defined honouring parents, and He did not talk about greeting, kneeling down, or good behavior. Those are important, but He spoke about material support.
Matthew 15:3-6 NIV – Jesus replied, “And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is ‘devoted to God,’ they are not to ‘honor their father or mother’ with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition.
Jesus rebuked the Pharisees because people were bypassing their parents and directing their money and resources toward the temple instead.
From that passage, the Lord meant that: if your parents needed support and you gave that support to the church instead, you have not honoured your parents.
Let that sink in.
Aren’t we repeating the same error today? Many Christians today are doing exactly what Jesus condemned.
Money that should relieve your parents goes to “prophetic seeds,” to “sow upward,” “tap into grace,” or “monthly sacrifices.”
Meanwhile the parents may have no pension, no stable or consistent income. They depend on “God will provide,” while you are the one God intended to provide for them.
Proverbs 22:16 warns plainly, “Whoever gives gifts to the rich will only come to poverty.” Do you believe this? Have you ever considered that many issues in your life, why it is not well with you, is because you are giving wrongly?
Yet, many believers keep sowing into wealthier church organizations while neglecting the father and mother who gave them life.
Have the Right Priorities
Christians who think that giving heavily in church excuses their neglecting family duties are in error. Scripture strongly warns against this.
You cannot use “church work” as an excuse to abandon home responsibilities. Even in His moment of greatest suffering, the Lord Jesus made provisions for His mother.
John 19:26–27 (NIV) “When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, ‘Woman, here is your son,’ and to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.”
If anyone ever had a “justifiable excuse” to ignore family duties, it was the Savior on the cross, yet He did not. He honoured His mother till the end. This is God’s standard.
Scripture encourages generosity, especially toward those who have invested the most in your life. Proverbs 3:27 (NIV) says, “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.”
Your parents, who poured years of labour, care, finances, and sacrifice into raising you, are among those “to whom good is due”. It is unrighteous to not care for them. Part of honour is sharing your blessings with your parents, not as charity, but as your godly responsibility and out of gratitude.
Hold these thoughts. We will continue to build on them next week.
