In the previous episode, we looked at the meaning of submission and saw that it is God’s design for maintaining order in the home. We also uncovered why submission can feel hard, whether you’re a man, woman, or child.
But today, let’s go a little deeper. Why are wives specifically called to submit? And why does this matter so much to God?
Why Wives Should Submit?
Submission is a voluntary yielding of one’s will to another. In this case, it is the wife yielding her will to her husband, in obedience to God. As such, the simplest and most foundational reason wives should submit to their husbands is because God commanded it.
This is part of a divine structure that reflects something much bigger: the relationship between the Lord Jesus and His bride, the Church (Eph. 5:22–32). Therefore, just as the Church submits to Christ so the wife is called to submit to her husband. And just as Christ loves, nourishes, protects, and sacrifices for the Church, so the husband is called to do the same for his wife.
START HERE: SUBMISSION IN MARRIAGE (PART 1)
Misunderstanding Submission: A Common Problem
Many women have never been taught how to submit. Yet the Bible clearly says that “the older women likewise… [should] teach the young women to love their husbands” (Titus 2:3-4). But how can they teach what they themselves have not learned or practiced?
The truth is, many young girls have grown up in homes where their mothers were the dominant voice, handling the home and their husbands to the point that the man became the one submitting. These daughters, having watched this pattern, often carry the same mindset into marriage and successfully replicate the same, or in many cases, cause the breakdown of their homes.
Many of these young women do not know the Word of God. And some who do know a little, misquote Ephesians 5:21, which says, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God”, using it to argue that both husband and wife are to submit mutually.
However, from Ephesians 5:17 to 21, Paul was addressing the general conduct of believers in the body of Christ. In verse 22, he then shifts into the specific instructions concerning marriage: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord…” (Eph. 5:22).
There is a divine order, and misunderstanding it leads to confusion in the home.
READ NEXT: SUBMISSION IN MARRIAGE (PART 3)
Preserving Roles in the Home: Under the Law.
Deuteronomy 22:5 says: The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God. (KJV)
The Hebrew for “that which pertaineth unto a man” is a combination of the words ‘kelee’, a word that means article, utensil, implement, equipment, or weapon, and ‘geber’ which is a word used to refer to a man or a warrior, particularly emphasizing strength or male authority. Together, “kelee geber” refers to a man’s tools, weapons, garments, or symbolic items of his role.
The Hebrew for “a woman’s garment” are the words “simlaw” and “ishah”. Simlaw means outer garment, clothing, or covering — in this case, referring to literal female attire, while ishah means a woman or wife. So, “simlaw ishah” refers to a woman’s dress or clothing. The implication of this passage is not simply about clothing. Though it was to address matters like cross-dressing in the camp, it also warns against role reversal.
The woman is not to take up anything that symbolizes a man’s role, including his responsibilities, tools of trade, or authority—especially things linked to warfare, leadership, or dominion. And the man was not to adopt a woman’s role or attire.
The word abomination (to’eivah) is a very strong term in Hebrew. It refers to something detestable or disgusting in God’s eyes, usually used for serious offenses that violate God’s created order.
So this verse shows us how serious it is to preserve God-assigned roles. The man and woman have distinct positions and responsibilities in the home, and we are to honour that divinely created distinction.
Ponder on these, and in the next part, we will begin to uncover some real-life applications of submission in the home.
