CHILD DISCIPLINE (PART 6)

Teaching Children the Right Way

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) says, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

As a parent, the focus is not only on spanking your child, but the point of discipline should be to train them to do what is right. Some children rebel against their parents either because they were never disciplined and so never learned how to respect authority, or because their parents took discipline too far and it became abuse.

What is the correct way to discipline and maintain a balance as a parent?

When it comes to raising children, remember: stand your ground, don’t be deceived by their tricks, and never underestimate their intelligence. You are the parent. Take charge. You must see child discipline as warfare, and your opponent as an intelligent and formidable one. Don’t underestimate your child.

READ ALSO: MY BODY MY CHOICE

The War: Cry or Fight?

There’s a story I heard years ago that has stayed with me. A man shared about his 18-month-old child—just a year and six months old. One day, she reached for an electrical socket to stick her finger in but while looking at him, testing the boundaries like children do. He told the toddler not to but after a slight consideration, chose to do her will. He smacked her hand and she paused, seemingly debating whether to cry or fight, and then chose to fight. She kept trying to stick her finger into it, and he kept slapping her hand, until about the 21st time when her hand was as red as a beetroot, she gave in and cried. She had lost the battle.

Children instinctively understand warfare! It’s adults who seem to have forgotten how to engage in it.

Many parents let their children manipulate them. If you try to carry a child and they resist, leave them alone. Soon enough, they’ll beg you to carry them. Or just take a random object, make it look interesting—they’ll beg you for it. Children are sharp; their minds work fast because they are fresh from…wherever. By the age of one, they can take control of a household! It’s adults, dulled by life, who underestimate them.

The Rebellious and the Natural-Born Leaders

Some children, especially strong-willed ones, are naturally born leaders. If you don’t prove that you are in charge, they will rule over you. Many mothers feel exhausted and even desperate, all because of one little child who is two, three, or four years old. But what’s really happening is that the child is testing to see who the real boss is. If you let them win, they will keep pushing until they dominate everything. The battle isn’t external; it’s a mental war. And the winner isn’t the one who shouts the loudest but the one who perseveres the most.

There are kids who keep misbehaving despite being punished. The pain of punishment does not matter—they just want to have their way. And some people still say, “Oh, leave children alone, they’re just kids.”

No, they are relentless. A child can repeat the same request twenty-five times: “Mommy, I want a biscuit! I want a biscuit!” Their persistence wears you down because they naturally have endurance. That’s why they can learn ABCs, walk, and talk. Meanwhile, adults struggle with perseverance. But if you cannot handle a child’s persistence, how will you withstand real spiritual battles?

READ NEXT: CHILD DISCIPLINE (PART 7)

The Weak Parent’s Fear

Some people worry, “My child will resent me if I discipline them.” Really? A child doesn’t even know what resentment is at a young age. They don’t hold grudges. If someone has biscuits, they instantly become friends, no matter what happened before. They have no permanent enemies! But they do know who to respect. The people who stood their ground and didn’t give in—those are the ones they learn to obey. If you let a child walk all over you, they will.