How It All Began
Before I began dabbling in dark things, I was already drawn to them. I hated light, sounds, colours, and anything that brought happiness. Flowers did not appeal to me; I only liked black roses with thorns. I was also fascinated by snakes. I even owned a pair of glasses with a snake on each handle. Others found these interests strange, but they felt normal to me.
As a child, I would imagine different ways I could die and what my burial would look like. I was also extremely stubborn and strong-willed. However, I was quiet, so people could hardly tell how stubborn I was. Besides, I always brought home excellent results for my parents.
My siblings and I were the kind of children every parent in my family’s church wished they had. Parents often told their children to emulate us. My mum warned us against bad company and did her best to keep us on the path of righteousness. The devil had his plans, but the good thing is that God had a better plan.
My Introduction to Obscene Content
Since I do not know what opened the door to witchcraft in my life, I will begin with the obscenity. It seemed as though the enemy was waiting for me to discover X-rated videos. Once I did, everything else followed.
At first, I watched videos involving males and females. However, because my heart was dark and constantly sought out darker things, I began making disturbing searches. I started by watching scenes of bestiality. At first, I found them satisfying, but eventually, they no longer satisfied me. I wanted something more.
I began searching for videos involving demons and humans. Many of these videos came in the form of animations, and I watched them increasingly often. When I was not watching content involving demons, I watched videos involving homosexuals. I sought anything other than the natural intimacy between males and females, although I watched the latter occasionally.
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My Fascination with Witchcraft and the Supernatural
Around this time, I had also developed an interest in strange movies through my classmates and Google. One day, a classmate introduced me to a television series about witchcraft. It was the first time I had watched a movie centred on the subject. The series was later banned, for reasons unknown to me.
While watching it, I began practising some of the spells portrayed in the series. Nothing happened, so I dismissed them as fake. Someone also introduced me to a book, which I began reading. Later, I watched a movie about the same subject.
If anyone wanted to capture my interest, all they had to do was introduce me to horror, witchcraft, vampires, werewolves, or apocalyptic movies. I began searching Google for the darkest movies I could find and watching them. I would describe what I wanted in a movie, and Google often delivered. Sometimes, though, the results disappointed me.
A Growing Darkness
As you might expect, I also began cursing a lot. Many of the movies I watched featured British characters, and I picked up their style of cursing, which differed from what I was accustomed to hearing in other societies.
I also began reading about Greek mythology and became fascinated by its gods. My fascination grew so strong that I wished to be intimate with one of them, particularly Zeus.
I thank God that, despite everything, I never had sexual relations with anyone. At the time, however, I had a deep hatred for people and was extremely proud. I would say things like, “No one is deserving of me.” Imagine that! I was living in filth, yet I considered myself superior to others.
I liked to think of myself as a goddess and saw myself as one. Meanwhile, I was battling rejection, suicidal thoughts, depression, and other struggles that came with that way of life. What an irony!
To be continued…
Miraculous Monday: 3rd November 2025
Miraculous Monday 167
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