I went on to read about witchcraft, read about spells, and the origins of certain cults. I was so excited about things like this. If the book or website was forbidden because it was dark, you’d find me there. There was something I was searching for. I just didn’t know what. I tried out as many spells as I could, sat in lotus positions so that I could leave my body and be elsewhere. I also tried taking over people and controlling them. Other times, I tried to communicate with others with my mind. All of these failed! I was bitter and would say that.
I went on to read about witchcraft, read about spells, and the origins of certain cults. I was so excited about things like this. If the book or website was forbidden because it was dark, you’d find me there. There was something I was searching for. I just didn’t know what. I tried out as many spells as I could, sat in lotus positions so that I could leave my body and be elsewhere. I also tried taking over people and controlling them. Other times, I tried to communicate with others with my mind. All of these failed! I was bitter and would say that it was all fake! But I kept trying. After this, I began to watch the types with violence involved, and this takes me to the part where I became murderous.
Murder
If there was anything that brought me joy, it was watching people die in a very gory way. I watched so many videos involving murder and began to think them up myself. I remember on different occasions when I’d be having a quarrel with someone. Because I was timid, I’d stare at them intently with a strong desire to cause their blood to boil. It was my preferred way of killing people. I didn’t care who it was at that time. I’d summon up all that was within me and try hard to inflict things on that person, but it just wouldn’t work. Then I’d run away, cry, and even scream. This hurt was from a place of disappointment that it didn’t work. I hated to see people who caused me pain walk alive.
Other murderous thoughts, like burning people slowly, using a knife or scalpel to slowly peel off their skins, and lots more, crossed my mind. I also enjoyed the sight of bashing a head against a wall. And I had a habit of cursing people under my breath. Whether you did me any wrong or not, I’d just curse you as I deemed fit. The following night, the Holy Spirit also reminded me of something I never thought I was capable of. I was reminded of how I could afflict myself with illnesses. I could tell someone I was having a headache and make myself have one. It would be so real, I’d have to take medications for it. I recall the different times I did that regarding abdominal pain, headaches, chest pains, and even blindness. I only wish I were able to do that to others. I was fearless, and I was afraid of how fearless I was.
Rebellion
I was stubborn like every other child. But the Holy Spirit pointed out that my rebellion started when I started craving or desiring things that were against the natural order of things. One of those days, during my foolish adventures online, I came across the name “Spirit of the House of Rebels.” It felt so cool, and I felt like it described me so well. So I adopted it. I began to call myself one of the spirits of the house of rebels and dedicated my writings to it. Whenever I wanted to write, I’d begin my writings with “Dear Spirit,” and then write the darkest things the human mind could not comprehend. I wrote about anything-hatred, sex, demons, spirits, murder, witchcraft, etc. My writings were a one-way ticket to the state of my mind. And I was so good at what I did. Whenever I showed some of my writings to foolish and lost people like me, they’d be amazed at the things I wrote.
To be continued…
Miraculous Monday: 10th November 2025
Miraculous Monday 168
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