My Sore History
Externally, I was a church girl, but inwardly, I was constantly dealing with a lot of issues. I had intense anger problems and would even go as far as breaking bottles. I remember breaking a bottle once to stab my brother.
Sexual immorality was also a major struggle for me. I was bound by it, and I could hold grudges as well. Many times, the lack of stability and peace in my heart and life made me feel as though I was bipolar or experiencing something close to it.
A Cry for Help
I grew up in a Christian home and had been going to church since childhood. I attended Bible classes, Sunday School and everything in between.
Unfortunately, I was introduced to sexual immorality quite early, in Junior Secondary School (JSS 3). It wrecked my mind, affected me adversely and became part of the way I grew up.
It had a strong hold on me, and I kept going back to it. I would pray and say, “God, please help me.” There were times when I would be in the very act, crying and saying to God, “You know I can’t help myself. You just have to help me.”
READ ALSO: SHADOWS AND SPELLS (PART 7)
Hunger for Righteousness
I could tell people about God. Oh Lord! I could share Christ with others. By the grace of God, I once preached to a guy, and he gave his life to Christ. Yet, in between all of this, I was still struggling with my own issues.
At home, I lived a different life. I had friends who did not really know me. One had to get very close to me to discover the ‘real’ me.
Someone could be my friend for years and say, “Ah! That good girl, she sings in the choir,” yet know nothing else about me. I showcased only the good things about myself.
This double life continued for a good while, until sometime towards the end of 2016.
I began to tell myself that I was a hypocrite, and a hunger for God started growing within me.
Usually, at the end of each year, I would take a piece of paper and write down the things I wanted God to do for me in the following year.
I remember that my number one request that year [2016, for the year 2017] was:
“God, I want to have a very close relationship with You. I want us to be very close, not like I’m doing now, where I’ll pray in tongues and still be involved in immorality.”
I felt there was something more, something I was lacking. After writing it down, I kept the paper somewhere and prayed about it only once or twice.
To be continued…
Miraculous Monday: 5th January 2026
Miraculous Monday 176
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