The Struggle with Worldly Music
When It Began
I believe this struggle began sometime in January, when random worldly songs started playing in my head. At first, I could easily dismiss them, but over time, it became harder. The songs that kept playing were ones I used to listen to and sing before I became born again.
They felt like a playlist in my head. As soon as one song ended, another began. During this period, I noticed that I had become more vulnerable to worldly music. Simply hearing a song while passing by on the road could make it stick in my head. Sometimes, it would keep playing repeatedly, and I struggled to stop it.
My Attempts to Fight It
At first, I tried to fight the songs by singing aloud any gospel song that came to mind. However, this approach did not work. Before long, I would unconsciously switch back to singing worldly music.
I also found it much easier to stop singing godly songs than to stop the worldly songs playing in my head. I tried rebuking them whenever they came to mind because I thought they might be caused by a spirit. However, the songs often continued despite my prayers.
Eventually, I stopped rebuking them. I concluded that my flesh was at work or that I had developed a bad habit.
Exposure Through YouTube
During this period, I spent a lot of time on YouTube, usually doing one thing or another. However, I often drifted away from my original purpose and found myself watching YouTube Shorts instead. This exposed me even more to worldly music, including trending songs.
I was often tempted to watch the music videos, and sometimes I gave in. I also found myself unconsciously dancing to songs I believed I should not dance to.
This struggle affected me deeply in my spiritual life.
READ ALSO: UNGODLY URGES (PART 1)
There were times I felt frustrated from the numerous songs playing in my head, and I would scream out, holding my head in frustration, telling God to make it stop.
Other times, I was tired of fighting it, so I would just let them play, knowing that soon, when I didn’t expect or know, it would stop. I realised it was a bigger issue for me when I began hearing worldly music playing in my head when I wanted to sleep, and the first thing when I woke up in the morning.
This affected what I saw in my dream, too. There is this thing we do in the hostel during devotion, where we ask if anyone woke up with a song. It dawned on me that it had been a while since I woke up hearing any godly music.
I became alarmed at this point because waking up to hearing worldly music used to be my story when I wasn’t born again, and I definitely didn’t want it to return. However, probably because of what was happening to me at the time, I gave up on fighting thoroughly.
To be continued…
6th October 2025
Miraculous Monday 163
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